I foster an unorthodox degree of animosity toward pigeons. In fact, when I think of pigeons, I think of stupid. Prancing around, warbling nonsense, their big heads sliding back and forth.
I think what bothers me most is their lack of self awareness. They don't understand their current position as bane of the bird species or bane of all the earth species. They don't even look over their shoulders when you tell them how stupid they look standing around like that.
Well, to be honest, I am not proud of my unwarranted loathing of pigeons, but surrendering my hostility toward them is impossible. I promise I've tried. I stared at a group of pigeons for two whole minutes the other day searching for redeeming qualities. The only redeeming qualities I could find were that:
1. There were nine of them standing there instead of ten
2. They didn't bully me with their warbling (this time)
3. They all flew away when I happened to tread briskly in their general direction
Not redeeming enough, pigeons. Upon closer observation, I also discovered that pigeons look like fish with wings. They also have pig in their name and they eat trash.
Pigeons. Hmm... I suppose they rocked Home Alone II. How did they get them to sit on the bird lady like that?