Monday, March 15, 2010

Meditation I

The other day I walked near a beautiful, blossoming plum tree and took in a big whiff of the sweet fragrance. Summer is here, I so gayly (that one 'gay' that doesn't mean homosexual) noted. Then, I realized what I was smelling was really the open box of Froot Loops in my arms. So I shoved a handful of Froot Loops into my mouth, shrugged, and walked upstairs.

Well, needless to say, those Froot Loops put me in a pensive mood, prompting both reflection and ingenuity. Below is a list of said ideas:

Life's Questions Unanswered:

1. Am I addicted to ice cream or to Mcflurry spoons?

2. Are tomatoes REALLY a fruit? And why does everybody know that?
3. If I were to eat while walking, something would have to even out, right?

4. Why do people persist in naming their children nonsense words?

5. Can I name my baby Peanut Butter Anderson? Mmm... peanut butter.

6. Are there any butlers not named Martin or Jeeves? Just because I have a friend named Martin can I treat him like my butler? (Martin, if you are reading this, you forgot to fold my socks)

7. I forgot about Toblerones. Those are delightful. Nut Rolls too. But Nut Rolls are unexpectedly delightful. Oops that's not a question. Or is it?

8. Pirates, time machines, unicorns, and lasik eye surgery... real or imaginary?

9. Where did clementines come from? Rhode Island?

10. Canadians???????????????

Life's Questions Answered:

1. What do teachers really discuss in the teachers' lounge?

Your assumptions are completely correct. They complain about you.

2. Did we really elect a man named Barack Hussein Obama Hitler as President?

What a silly mess we got ourselves into! Oh well. What's in a name?

3. Why does everything smell like toots on car trips?
Those really are toots that you are smelling.

4. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I'll tell you when you're older.

5. Was it cool to like Power Rangers when you were a kid?

Maybe. If you also thought Pokemon and having no friends was cool. (Just kidding, my popular/dynamite fiancé)

6. This is pathetic. 22 years and I only know 5 things. My investigative efficiency is clearly lacking.

Signing off.

That's my new phrase that means, "Ending? Who wants to think of an ending when it's taken you 22 years to think of the answers to 5 life questions?"