As we attended the festivities this year, I realized that some people don't quite understand the meaning behind holidays they celebrate. You'd have thought I would have figured that out when my friend asked my British neighbor how they celebrate The 4th of July where he's from. But no. It hit me when Ian pointed out the Indians pulling handcarts in the parade. I dunno. Maybe they were just portraying the assimilated Indians who journeyed with the pioneers.
Ignorance provides the ultimate conditions for deceit, so I got to scheming. I am an optimistic person. I look at every situation and ask myself, "How can this benefit me?" Then, I do whatever I can to achieve my goals, no matter the costs. It's like they always say. "It's important to be nice, but it's nicer to be important."
That's why I propose a new holiday called, "Economic Stimulus Day" on September 1st of each year. This holiday will boost the economy and raise the spirits of Americans all over the world. On September 1st, each American will send 20% of their year's earnings to a specified location that will surely distribute the cash to various clothing stores, car dealerships, and chick fil a's across the country. For now, we'll just call the specified location A.L.I.G. Get More, Inc. We're here to serve you.
I know, I know. Sometimes I even surprise myself. See you September 1st for a happy Economic Stimulus Day!
*Note: Utahns do not deserve to be stereotyped. Oh my heck are they good people.
2 comments:
There were Indians pulling handcarts? Nuh uh. Maybe it was a Nephite montage? A kinda artsy one? You mentioned one of my all time favorite 4 July memories. Remember when England used to be a big bully? Not cool. Now the "British are coming" because of the weak dollar and to mark "See Grand Canyon and Vegas" off their bucket list. Oh how things have changed since we were kids, eh Anna?
Was I pulling the handcart? For the last time Anna, I am not an Indian! But if you say so, then I deserve that stimulus money for all those years my people were oppressed.
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