Oh yes! Murder, evil, trickery, and fear!!!!! My neighbors have already decorated for the season with bloody butcher knives and a headstone that says, "You're next!" stuck to their front window. I think I am gonna head over there first.
Actually, it turns out that it's "illegal" for "college students" to go "trick-or-treating" in "Rexburg". So, I am skipping class to think up a new strategy for tomorrow night. Here's what I've got so far:
Objectives:
1. Get candy
2. For free
3. Avoid arrest
Plan A: Obtain switchblade from neighborhood Wal-Mart store. Follow children around. Cut hole in children's trick-or treat bags. Collect trail of candy.
Plan B: Dress as Obama. Ensure parents that their candy will be split equally among all trick-or-treaters. Take candy home for self and friends. Accept Nobel Peace Prize.
Plan C: Inform parents giving out candy that their house is on fire. Agree to risk life to continue "giving out" bowl of candy. After, light house on fire to destroy evidence.
Plan D: Dress as Phantom of the Opera. Turn off power at houses giving out candy. Threaten there are more tricks where that came from over loudspeaker. Instruct parents that their children are at risk if they don't keep their hand at the level of their eye. Collect candy.
My Promise: As a law-abiding citizen, I agree to uphold the statutes of the Rexburg Constitution by following the "No college student trick-or-treaters" law. Fortunately, the loopholes above will provide optimum opportunity for celebration while allowing me to demonstrate my integrity as a citizen of this great town.
Happy Halloween, Rexburg! I can't wait to see all the floozy witch, floozy fairy, floozy bumblebee, floozy vampire, and floozy Michael Jackson costumes you all come up with!
6 comments:
Beautiful Anna, truly beautiful. I would have to agree with Ian that #2 is the best strategy. Way to successfully add politics to your blog. You have achieved a new level of blogging success.
Winning the Nobel Peace Prize, those floozies won't know what hit them. But maybe you could employ them as your czars? You would have one in each demographic, from fairies and vampires to Micheal Jackson. Oh, wait those might be the same thing.
I am speechless, I am without speech. Brava, brava, bravisime!
some of your best work
Hope you figured something out or this is the first year in your Trick or Treat loving life that you haven't gone door to door!
This is the funniest thing I've ever read.
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