"I am getting married about five months from now in July."
Mormon Response: "Perfect. You're engagement time will about quadruple your dating time. Ever consider moving it up to May?"
Non-Mormon Response: "Wait. July of THIS year?!?"
"I am 22-years-old"
Mormon Response: "Man, you sure are lucky to have found a man older than you up at school. You barely dodged the relationship limbo they call the singles' ward."
Non-Mormon Response: 'Oh, how sweet. She genuinely thinks it will last!'
"He and I are both going to be English teachers."
Mormon Response: "I hope you don't mind being poor."
Non-Mormon Response: "Very, very, very poor."
"We've been officially dating since Thanksgiving."
Mormon Response: "Oh yeah? Well my cousin dated for ten days before she got engaged and my grandpa proposed after three dates and my mother's aunt just ran into this guy and she knew she'd marry him so they went and got married and..."
Non-Mormon Response: (Grin, blank stare, exhale, exit room)
To mormons and non-mormons alike, marriage might mean the death of independence, a plea for poverty, or an onslaught of annoyances; but, to me marriage will mean one simple thing: incredible blog material.